Wednesday, November 15, 2006 23:40
♥
This week wasn't a good week for me. It was a rather extremely sad week. I will not elaborate what actually happened. I just got to pray hard that everthing bad will come to an end soon and I mean REAL SOON! I have had enough. I'm toally drained out. Hope everything will be fine. I decided to post an entry because I really need a space to rant all my unhappiness. I feel that I'm in a tied-up situation now. I got a feeling of not to live. I don't know why. My heart had been broken into pieces. I feel the pain in me. I'm not lying. I really got no one to turn to now. I just hate myself to the core at this period of time. I want to resume to my own self. I WANT! But i just can't. Everything is piling up on me. What have I done wrong to deserve all this SHIT? $%^&(*& I just cry myself to sleep for the past few days. But who knows? NO ONE and not even the one I LOVE MOST! When I always need someone to be right beside me, there will always be no one, not even a shadow. Maybe I'm thinking too much so JUST LEAVE ME ALONE NOW! I just need a break! I'm tearing as I typed this entry as I just can't control my tears. I'm so confused right now. Why is this like that. I care so much for the one I love most, and this is what I get in return. I don't expect much from you, it is just a small request and you just can't make it a promise. I don't know how to say it anymore. I'm tired of it. Although I always say that I'm not gonna care, but in the end I still care. Mainly because, it's hard for me to stop caring for the person I love. But time after time, you really do break my heart without noticing it. It gave me a feeling that I'm no longer important in your life and you don't treat me as yours. I just felt so sad everytime I thought of it. Maybe all this while how I feel were just hallucination or my own thoughts. No matter how I feel all this while, won't make me stop loving you.
You're the imporatance of my life. You're the one who make me stand up stronger than in the past. You're the one who manged to pull me through the hard times.You're the one who is always encouraging me.You're the one who tries your best to coax me whenever I'm down. You're the one who makes me feel wanted whenever I feel unwanted.No matter what, you're still the one I love most even though your character is changing time after time.I don't expect you not to change because the world is always spinning.The world is everchaning every little seconds.I love you <3
